Sunday, December 18, 2011

A big ramble....

I can not believe how fast this year has gone. It's been a bumpy road, but not without its joys.

I have had a lot of difficult moments from "its not fair" to " who am I to question His will". I was angry at times at the unfairness but He so quickly reminded me that there is a bigger picture and I have to trust that what is is meant for whatever reasons.

I can't say that its been an easy journey. I have honestly felt the farther away we get from the time Lilly was here the harder its been. It will be two years in February which I still can not believe! I guess you could say year two was harder than year one, but I hear some are harder than others.

Mornings have been hard on me again and I just am finding it hard to be joyful at times, and not for lack of trying. I still am happy but am missing her at the same time. 

I feel blogging helped me keep a more positive perspective so I really am making an effort to continue to do that. I know I keep saying that lol. I just feel its my outlet and for awhile I wasn't allowing myself the time I needed for my emotions on missing Lilly. I have vented to my mom, my husband, and my best friend, and two coworkers so that has helped. But I could only do that every now and then because of life happenings.

This post is a huge ramble which is one of the things I love about blogging. I can ramble :)


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