Wednesday, February 10, 2016

I will never be 100% happy and that is OK

For those of you who think I am on some high horse or I think I am better than anyone. I am not. I know that I am far from perfect. That my life is far from perfect.

I love my life and would not trade it for the world but I will always miss one of my children and be sad that I don't get to hug her when she cries or read bedtime stories to her or hug her and Hold on to her wishing she would stay little. I will always wish she could have just stayed.

Don't get me wrong I am not bitter that I don't have her for I would never trade being her mother.  Just know that I don't think I am perfect. I don't think I am better than you. I know that I am far from it and all that I try to do is be worthy to be my children's mother everyday.

I hurt more than I will ever let anyone know because I want others to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. It's a great amazing feeling. 

I know what it feels like to hurt so please know I would never intentionally hurt anyone but I do have to protect my own heart for its been through a lot.

I am human. I do get sad and that is ok.

For those of you who think I use losing my daughter to get attention that's ok too. I hope you never have to understand how so untrue that is.

I miss her every day and that will never change but I live my life so that I might honor her. I want all my children to be proud to call me their mom and not because I am "better" than someone else's mother but because I am better than the me I was the day before.



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