Wednesday, August 19, 2015


She would have started school today. 

I can see how by my mentioning this to people, they may think I am taking away from her siblings milestones. If you truly know my heart you know that to be untrue.

Because they are alive does not mean her life, though brief, meant any less.  Because she is dead does not make my living children's milestones less important. If anything it makes their milestones that much more meaningful. 

I miss her so much I can't even breathe. I am sad she is missing out. I know some would say she is having a ball where she is. To be honest that doesn't help me even if I know it or feel it.

I have not been as loud about my grief as I used to be. It seems I am now seeing just how much people do not want to talk about infant death.  I understand I do.  Which is why I talk to the ones who are comfortable and supportive enough to hear me out so thank you for that you do more than you know.

Kindergarten is a milestone she will never experience and today I just want to feel the sadness that this brings.


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