Mother's Day 2011

   My day had its ups and downs.  At this point I've grown a bit used to grief being a part of my life.  It's never going to be easy living without Lilly; I know that, and have always accepted that.

    I know a few moms who are experiencing their first mother's day without their child and my heart goes out to them.  I wish I could take their pain away, but I know so well that it's not something that can be done.

    I miss her everyday so today is no exception, but it is difficult to celebrate 100% on a day where I can not share it with all my children, the reason to which I am a mother is them.  We painted, played, and hung out.  My husband cooked a GREAT breakfast (thank you Jim).

    I had plenty of wishes for a Happy Mother's Day which really helps to know I'm still thought of, that we are not forgotten and that most importantly Lilly is not forgotten.  And I know that even if no one else remembers dear Lilly we will always cherish her and remember her everyday of our lives and that's what matters.

    I remember having more peace last year than I do this year, but I think that has a lot to do with where I am at in my waves of grief.  Last year was more emotional tear wise, I have not cried but once this mother's day which is not an accomplishment.  The day I stop crying would hurt the most because I don't want to disconnect my emotions from Lilly and when I cry I know I still miss her and love her and that in a way brings me comfort.

   I'm gonna end this post saying I hope that every mom had a Happy Mother's Day and to those grieving moms, I hope that your day was filled with as much peace as there could be.  I know it's not easy and I wanted to send my love and hugs out to you all.