Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Save a Place For Me by Matthew West

I heard this song today and I felt the words were so perfect and what I needed to hear today, so I thought I would share them. Its a beautiful bittersweet song for me. I'm reminded of a time when someone told me that someone else who passed away left a legacy, why? because she was older when she passed? She had lived more than Lilly? I don't feel a child's age has anything to do with how much it hurts a parent to be without them.  

I know that we only had Lilly here for NINE MONTHS (in utero) SIX days FIVE hours and THIRTY minutes, and many may question how much did she really do, but because of what people have said about Lilly and what she did for them, I really feel she did so much more for so many others than I have ever done in my 29 years here.  This has been a hard week for me and I feel just that back and forth.  

My oldest son and I finally bought stuff to start our scrapbooks for Lilly and as I was explaining this I realized that this may be uncomfortable or sad for others to hear but this is our everyday lives now. Our "normal" if that's what you would like to call it.  We will never be where we were before and as much as I miss her and it breaks my heart that I can not hear touch or see her physically here with me, I wouldn't trade being her mother for the chance to no longer feel how much it hurts to miss her.

*hugs* to any reading who have lost a child or a loved one or even are supporting those who have suffered a great loss.  I know these words may have been sad to read. This is not a burden one wishes to bear, but I am proud to bear it and glad that Lilly was a part of my life no matter how brief, she mattered! They all matter!

Don't be mad
If I cry
It just hurts so bad, sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again

You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon

I have asked the questions why
But I guess the answers for another time
So instead I pray, with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here


I wanna live my life Just like you did
Make the most of my time Just like you did
And I want to make my home up in the sky Just like you did
Oh, but until I get there...
Until I get there...



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