Truth is nothing anyone can do or say can make this better. And while that may be very frustrating, its the honest raw truth. Nothing is going to take the pain we are feeling away. Nothing is going to make it better, not even time. We will learn to cope with our pain and live with it, but the pain will never disappear or go away. And to be honest, we wouldn't want it any other way. Its always going to be a reminder that Lilly did exist, she was here with us.
Lilly did so many amazing things while she was alive. She lived 9 months in utero, 6 days 5 hours and 30 minutes on earth when her life expectancy ranged from stillborn to a couple of hours. She surpassed anyone's expectations even my own. We are grateful and blessed to have the memories we have of Lilly Elizabeth and are honored to be her mom and dad forever.
This is a forever pain, nothing will take it away from us. We will have moments where we are wallowing in our grief. We will have moments where we can laugh and enjoy life. We just remember what we've lost as parents, as a family, as an individual.
People will never understand what it is to feel this pain. It is hard for people to know what to do or what to say, I wish we could give them all a handbook. With time people are going to move on not realizing that you are will never be able to do that, it's a sad truth. I pray that you continue to have people around you to support you. From my personal experience it has been really hard. I can say that only a few people have been really supportive and continue to hold Sami close to their hearts. It is sad because as a mom to angel your biggest fear is people forgetting that they existed. This is going to be the toughest journey in our lives and I pray for strength everyday. Yes, we will learn to cope with the pain like you said but it will never go away.
ReplyDeleteWe are a different kind of mother than most and to me I think we are the best kind. We have the honor in saying that we actually created and held an angel. I wish I could have held my angel for longer but I know that she is a better place with God. I am at peace knowing that He can give her more than I ever could. Our angels are in a beautiful place with no pain only joy.
Lily will always be a part of you, a part of your family. I share your story with everyone because I have been touched by her life so much. I pray God continues to give you strength. I hope you are able to enjoy your Easter, I know the holidays are especially difficult ((HUGS)).
I just read your message on my blog, thank you..it means a lot. did you know your daughter was born/passed the day before Alyssa? i delivered her sleeping on 2/23 but hear the news of her heart on 2/22. Im so so so sorry we have to have this in common. I know your pain of feeling like you dont want to make lily think you are angry and it is her that caused it...i feel the same, but its so hard NOT to be angry when this is what we were given...xoxo..wish we "met" differently but im here if you need someone to talk to xoxo
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