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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A forever pain

Most people in our lives don't know how to act, react, or what to say. Most want to make us feel better and know they can't. I'm sure that can feel awkward as we've been on the other end unfortunately. I figured the best thing to say would be "I wish there was something I could say", or "I wish there was something I could do to make it better."
Truth is nothing anyone can do or say can make this better. And while that may be very frustrating, its the honest raw truth. Nothing is going to take the pain we are feeling away. Nothing is going to make it better, not even time. We will learn to cope with our pain and live with it, but the pain will never disappear or go away. And to be honest, we wouldn't want it any other way. Its always going to be a reminder that Lilly did exist, she was here with us.
Lilly did so many amazing things while she was alive. She lived 9 months in utero, 6 days 5 hours and 30 minutes on earth when her life expectancy ranged from stillborn to a couple of hours. She surpassed anyone's expectations even my own. We are grateful and blessed to have the memories we have of Lilly Elizabeth and are honored to be her mom and dad forever.
This is a forever pain, nothing will take it away from us. We will have moments where we are wallowing in our grief. We will have moments where we can laugh and enjoy life. We just remember what we've lost as parents, as a family, as an individual.

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