Eventually rationale sets in and I am calm. Just not at this moment. It just really upset me. I feel it would be wrong to betray any confidences just because I am angry, therefore I won't go into any details. I realize that it may seem rather petty being that I got to take Lilly home so how dare I get upset over such trivial things. I guess I am upset because I felt somewhat robbed of this particular desire. As much as I feel that this wasn't fair. It was more unfair that my baby girl was not going to live long.
She was alive that's what mattered most in those moments, all six of us were here together for a little while. In the end everything came together and it worked out. And being angry doesn't solve anything or change anything. Do I wish certain occurrences had not happen, of course. But nothing will change it and the BIG picture is Lilly was here, regardless of how long. She was here and a part of us all.
I do not forget this. I have made it a point to go with how I feel so I will say for the time being I am angry. Who knows how I will feel seconds, minutes, hours, days from now. But right now I am angry. I feel I have a right to be. I realize plain and simple, I am just angry.