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Friday, May 14, 2010

Our Support System begins

I realized that when I posted about D-day that I failed to acknowledge the support we had that day and the days following. We did call our coworkers to let them know our news as they knew this was the appointment we would be finding out the sex of our baby, and to see if the AFP levels were just the result of a very common false positive. They were expecting a phone call with the news. I called and my coworker Pam had picked up. I cried while giving her the news and I remember her words "Oh, Elena I am so sorry" as we hung up she told me she loved me. That meant a lot to me.

Our families of course have also been such a great support. But as we live away from both our parents and have no family close by (other than the friends and coworkers who have now become our family through this journey) it was a great comfort to know we were not alone. That night Pam and Lynsey came by with pizza and sodas and pasta for dinner. The office bought us dinner for the evening. It was so unexpected, and greatly appreciated. I tear up as I type this remembering that moment and how much love and support we felt.

I was actually thinking prior to that, that I wasn't fitting in at work and I was struggling with that. I can't say that I feel that way now. Not even a little. Everyone has been so supportive and awesome.

I am not one to ask for help or even accept it when it is given, but being surrounded by such loving and supportive coworkers, I have learned to do just that. Even more so with having had Lilly and losing her so shortly after she was born. I always felt ashamed at accepting help, but I realize that just as I feel good when I help others I must allow others to feel that good in helping me. I can't keep all that happiness for myself. I learned that from my supervisor and angel here on earth Sheila.

I was already off the rest of the week (for no particular reason) so it worked out for me. I needed that time. My husband's job gave him the rest of the week off to be with me. My mother-in-law and father-in-law drove down the following day to be with us. Just to be with us. It was an amazing day. They may not have felt like it, but just being there helped us. We just hung out. The subject only came up once and that was fine with my husband and I.

That Friday I met Lynsey and Pam for lunch and they delivered to me groceries to take home. The office had come together to buy us food for the weekend. I can never repay their kindness, but I am forever grateful, overwhelmed, and humbled by their generosity.

They have gone so far above and beyond any support I could ever imagine from friends, family, coworkers. There is a special place for each and everyone in my heart. They also shared my hope while pregnant with Lilly. And they share my faith in God almighty.

The support of our other children was amazing too. It still is to this day. After we got closer to home my husband and I picked up the new Tinkerbell movie and went to get the kids. I just wanted to be with them. I needed to be with them.

We are so fortunate and blessed and continue to be as my coworkers and family and friend still are constants in their support. Its not as strong as in those moments, and that gets difficult at times. In the end I know they are there for me as they always have been.

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